My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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