if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
