i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
