Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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