You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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