don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
