I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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