You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
