I don't think brook has ever known best
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize