just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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