They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
