Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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