He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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