you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize