I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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