My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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