if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
