I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad