this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
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I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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