these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
