im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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