And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
