thus making me awesome and them whores
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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