Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
