I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
