I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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