So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
