I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
