'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's blow job season.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
