What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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