are you so shy because you have an std?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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