Someone shit on the floor
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
