does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
