Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize