His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Best friends brother. Beat that.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
