don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
