i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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