I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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