So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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