she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
