im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
