smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
