whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
