I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
