If that was your dad, he is hot
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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