He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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