in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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