But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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