actually, I'm a sock model
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Randomize
