kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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