I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
