D3 body, D1 cock
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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