Only a mothe r could love this liver
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
