Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
