i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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