why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
