he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
