i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
