just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize