Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize