I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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