Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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