When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
