He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize