dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
